Wednesday, 9 May 2012

Becoming a Mum: The ultimate before & after

I have been thinking about this post for a few days now.
Life before kids, and life after kids.
No one would dispute that having children irrevocably changes your life.
I was thinking the other day that sometimes I barely recognise this frazzled specimen! Hair is (mostly) unwashed, necklines stretched from yanking to gain boob access, flat tummy & waist a distant memory. 
So that's the outside, but what's going on underneath?
What has happened to the passionate artist? What has happened to the global traveller?
The creative side of me seems squashed under a mound of playdoh and baby wipes.
Is it a time issue? I have maybe 2 hours of 'free time' a day when Finn is sleeping and Max is at nursery.  But this time is mostly taken up with cooking, cleaning and generally keeping my family running smoothly. So maybe time is not on my side.
Is it a priorities issue? Possibly. I feel like right now I have to put the kids and Richard first. My babies need a lot of care and attention and Richard is working hard to provide a great future for us. My role is to support and nurture.
Do I not care as much about those things that seemed so important before the kidlets came along?
Career, clothes, interiors........... Maybe. I still have an interest in these things, but not like before. 
I am excited to think I may have some kind of career in the future, but it seems a long way off just now. 
I still like clothes, but I don't have time to keep up with 'fashion'. I am a bit of a disaster in the fashion stakes at the mo, but I admire others who are workin' it! 
Interiors, yup still LOVE interiors. My life is mostly set in the interior of our home so I guess my creative outlet is what I call zhooshing. I do a lot of zhooshing!
So what is the outcome of all this rambling? 
I guess I want to ask the question - do you feel like the same person since becoming a Mum?
Are you still working/creating/exploring?
Do you have ambitions and dreams which are being put on hold while you raise your family?
I would love to hear your thoughts on this. 



  1. I don't think anyone feels the same person when they become a mum. Your priorities shift dramatically and your own 'self' becomes buried under the day to day care of others. You simply stop putting yourself at the top of the list for a bit. For some it's fine and the love it.....for others, they cannot cope with it. Most, I think, often feel suffocated, but, have the knowledge that, it's really just a short space of time that ALL your time is taken up with caring for others. Very soon your children will become that little more independent and you start to grab little bits of yourself back!


  2. Thanks Vanessa! So wise my friend. xxx

  3. I think lets plan a once a month adventure, where we go off exploring or do something fabulous! Its so important to top your self up, it helps you be the best you for yourself and the people you love :)

    See you soon darling xxx

  4. Authentic and honest... thank you. I have been thinking about this A LOT lately. I have a thirteen year old who's independence is definitely being exercised! Part of me mourns for the toddler who (as you say) took up ALL my time yet part of me is excited by the prospect of a "future sans responsibility" - of course by this I mean "practical responsibility" - school runs, sports, cooking & washing, buying school uniforms, helping with homework etc. I've said to my Hubby - We need to REALLY savour this you know... in only a few years time it'll be just you and I staring at each other saying "Hi there, who are you and where did 18 years just go???" I guess this is exactly what is meant by the expression "the circle of life" (?) Now that I'm raising a teenager (I should really say GUIDING) I find I need MORE help (eeek) because although he is doing so much more for himself I realise he is still very impressionable. A while ago I was fortunate enough to attend a lecture by a lady named Celia Lashlie (Her book is titled "He'll be OK" and for mums of teenage boys I think it's a FABULOUS read) She referred to a time when a mother needs to take a step back and let her son cross the bridge into manhood without her right alongside. She said that this would be a great time to concentrate on ones own passions and person - so that when he turned to find you you'd be his North Star and, the you that you always were, would shine through too.... (Crying now...) XX Thanks for asking us to share. It's such a wonderful, crazy and courageous world this place called motherhood :-) xx


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